The following is a post from Joyce at Keeping Up With the Moys.
The other day my six-year-old asked me, “How did you and Daddy meet again?” So I told her about the first time we met. We were in high school at the time. My husband had come to see the youth group musical that I was performing in. “Did you look into each other’s eyes and fall in love?” (I have “Nancy Clancy, Secret Admirer” to thank for this question.) No, not exactly. We were actually friends for two years before we started dating. Her questions brought back a lot of memories of how we have grown in our relationships with each other to where we are now.
Us as a Couple
I am not a marriage expert by any means, but what I do know in our five years of dating, one year engagement, and almost eight years of marriage, is that marriage takes a lot of work. Once children come into the picture, we have to be even more intentional about setting aside time to be just us as ‘a couple’, instead of us as ‘mom and dad’. In the midst of dirty diapers, middle-of-the-night wakings, and meals to cook, if we have no goals in our marriage, we will only be running on survival mode. We will wake up to go to our respective jobs, whether at home or at an office, do our work, possibly eat dinner together, before heading to bed to start the routine over again, without thought to why we had gotten married in the first place.
To be intentional about being us as ‘a couple’ means we need some sort of plan. We need some goals to work toward. I know that does not sound romantic at all, but stick with me. Companies, social groups, clubs, and other organizations that are successful, succeed because there is a vision and a mission that all employees and members stand behind and strive toward.
Make Marriage a Priority
When we are changing a poopy diaper on a squirmy, crying baby, we are probably not thinking lovey dovey thoughts about our husband. So, how do we, as mamas, in a busy season of our lives make sure to make our marriages a priority? A marriage mission statement! This is nothing new. If you do a search, there are numerous articles about marriage mission statements. But, not many couples have one. To be honest, we are working on ours right now. We have goals and plans for so many other areas of our lives (just yesterday we were talking about the list of things to fix in our house once we save up some money), but not our marriage. We think our marriage will run on love, and for the most part, it does, but it also takes a little work.
Writing a Marriage Mission Statement
- Set aside some uninterrupted time with your husband to talk about the vision for your marriage. This is the big picture of who you are as husband and wife. When you look back at your life, what marriage memories would you like to have made in your years together? What are your hopes and dreams for your marriage? Discuss and brainstorm.
- Break down this vision into smaller, practical actions that you can take on a regular basis. Are date nights important to you? Mark it down on your calendar and make it consistent. We like to have monthly date nights, but you can do whatever works for you (quarterly or weekly). Do you want your kids to see you speak words of encouragement to one another? Make it a point to say at least one kind thing to your husband in front of your kids. You might even want to add a coin into a jar each time you do this as a visible act of your words. A bonus? You can use this to save up for date nights.
- Choose a marital Scripture verse. What Bible verse or passage sums up your idea of marriage or love?
- Write down your mission statement. You can even print it out to post somewhere in your home as a reminder.
- Pray together.
Do you have a marriage mission statement? If not, would you join me in taking action this week to write up a marriage mission statement?