I recently started thinking about giving the kids set chores. While they’re only five, four and two years old, all three have shown us they can make their beds, put away their dirty clothes and pick up their toys on their own. So, why not make this a habit?
I asked around about chore charts and, after looking at a few, settled on the perfect system (or, so I thought). I excitedly shared the plans with my husband expecting him to jump on board enthusiastically. Not!
He shot down my plan…clear out the sky.
The sticking point?
He didn’t agree with paying the kids to do chores. He thought that’s what they should do just for living under our roof. I disagreed.
I thought paying the kids was a good way to start teaching them about managing money, tithing, saving and giving. All very worthwhile traits our kids should have. How could he not see that? I was furious.
He offered a compromise–have a basic set of chores the kids could do without getting paid, then add a few above and beyond tasks they could do for money.
But, I didn’t want compromises.
What I wanted was the plan I’d crafted in my head–the chore chart with the cute little graphics and the piggy bank system separating tithes, savings and spending money.
Not that I’m much of a drinker, but talk about a buzz kill.
Fast forward to the next night when we’re getting ready for dinner. I’d recently decided my oldest son was getting a bit overboard with his picky eating and had started making him eat a little bit of “real” food every night. Basically, whatever we were eating, he had to taste.
Every night it is a knock down drag out (figuratively speaking) to get him to eat. My hubbie kind of dismissed the idea at first thinking it was more work than it was worth. However, on this night, he came home and was onboard 100%. He backed me up by telling my son he needed to finish his food, or else there’d be no iPad or wii time, no movies and no cookies that night. He’d have to go straight to bed if he didn’t want to eat.
And while it still took an eternity for my son to eat his food (with plenty of theatrics along the way), I have to say, it felt good knowing my husband had my back. It felt good being in one accord…and for our kids to see us as a united front.
Of course, my mind quickly flashed back to the chore chart argument. I realized I shouldn’t have been so stuck on “my” plan for the chores. While my intentions were noble and that chore chart may have been AWESOME, marriage and parenting involve two people–not one.
That means sometimes I must dial down on what I want–to come up with something that works for both of us.
It feels a lot better to be on the same page with my husband than not.
Now, if I could just get that apology thing down…
This post is part of the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with other inspiring bloggers. The book, Happy Wives Club, chronicles one woman’s journey across the world to meet new friends and discover what makes their marriages great. If you want a rock solid marriage, CLICK HERE to learn more.